Cocaine for the soul: essays about duality
About this ebook
I did it while being addicted, but also after.
Today i smile reading those thoughts, realising that in fact it was all an ... illusion.
Unfortunately ... I needed that.
And i don't regret it.
Yes ... i have absolutely no regret that things happened, the way happened.
Meanwhile ... i am smiling ... reading those thoughts from my books with love essays.
Many would say ... i was pathetic.
At that time i had considered myself ... authentic.
I felt that i am not anymore into the illusion of ... normality.
But the philosophical question is why the hell i declare today that being in love is an illusion and when i was in love i saw normality as illusion?!
Why this contradiction?!
Maybe ... if i would be wise enough i would accept the theory that all is an illusion.
The addiction is just sort of a cocaine for the soul.
Allowing ourselves to experience the illusory, even if we are already into the illusion.
Is like we sleep, we dream ... but while this is happening we asleep again, dreaming about something more beautiful.
Adoring it.
But ....
Then we wake up, not liking the other dream.
The main one.
Hating all.
Reacting so, so ugly.
Even ... as the wild animals.
Is funny.
The illusion of being part of an illusion ... or the illusion of not being part of an illusion?!
I see all as a ... philosophical idea.
A weird concept.
But ... even if I pretend that i am a writer, writing about it ... coming back to myself, i realise that i need that abstract cocaine for the soul.
The illusions.
Yes ... i really need that.
All the time.
Just not to have a boring life.
Cause ... i hate that.
From the bottom of my heart.
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About the author
I've started to write my first book at 16 ... but then ... realizing i could not publish it ... i've abandoned the idea of being a ... writer.
20 years later ... i've started to write again ... believing i will finally succeed ... but i've failed one more time ... not getting the success i was chasing for.
Another 5 years later ... i've started one more time to write ... but this time ... more as a therapy.
It's what i've defined as ... self therapy.
I was analyzing and defining lots of weird ideas ... that were a lot related to me ... and my own soul.
I totally forgot that i was chasing for success.
I was simple writing my thoughts ... in essays ... becoming this way ... maybe not a writer .... but what many define as ... an essayist.
This is not a poet ... and not a writer.
Or maybe is kind of a poet that is incapable of writing poetry ... but is still expressing his thoughts ... into a similar way ... as a poet.
And is not a writer ... cause have not the ability to write for too long time ... about the same subject.
But maybe i am not an essayist... either.
I am just an ordinary person ... that could be better defined ... as a thinker.
Analyzing ... and defining my life ... practicing this process called ... self therapy ... i started to understand life ... and the way to better paths which i should follow.
And i've wrote ... and wrote ... and wrote ... realizing one day that i've published tens of books .... not really understanding how the hell I've succeeded doing that.
Today i dare to recommend writing ... as a therapy.
I could even say ... it's a simple way of understanding who we are ... but also a process that could help us ... heal our souls.
I personally continue to ... write.
It's in fact ... a non ending story that ... at least for myself ... will probably continue for the rest of my life.
But over all ... i am glad ... i am doing it.
I continue my philosophical journey ... not being able to define myself for clear as a writer or an essayist... but ...
Well .... most probably... i am on a good path.
And ... i would dare to recommend to everyone ... all what i am doing today.
